Lynn

awkwardsylence @ 2003-07-22T22:39:00

2003-07-23T05:31:38Z

my not so new/new LJ name is.....allyourhangrson

mi casa es su casa

2003-05-07T00:33:45Z

well you guys i got the ok for it!!! were throwing a show at my house with the poor pirates and grimace and were gonna try and get some other band rocio said was good. its gonna be on may 31st. pre-tee cool huh>? and its gonna be a b-day party for ashlee too!!!ok well i guess this my my last entry. bye yall'.....

lovelynn

why couldn't you just leave it the way it was??

2003-05-04T16:45:13Z

hello, i know i said i was gonna get a new journal (and i am) but im starting the new one on moday :) well very mad at myself. yesterday i get a call...NO! not hott-ass (yum-yum) its was JESUS! wtf? yes jesus...he wanted to just "talk" dont ask, cause i dont even know. i said i had to go, so i did. but he called back and kept calling back asking questions. digging myself a brandnew hole while this whol conversation was going on...and by the end of the night i was in it. ::sigh:: i was dissapointed, but not to worry! cause i got myself out'a that hole faster than i ever have! :) i aint gonna ever do this again!! i told him just to keep things the way they are, so i hope he will. things are just fine the way they are now. and i told him everyone! and it was the truth too, i told him i didnt love him anymore, and then he asked who i liked and eventually, i told him hott-ass (yum-yum) oh lol his names Juan and hes super. well i must be on my way now everyone. bye bye.

lovelynn

all im losing is me, or so i thought...

2003-05-04T06:16:06Z

welll ladies and gentlemen, i think its time to say goodbye to my awkwardsylence account on LJ, tommorrow ill be getting a new one. il be back one more time to tell you guys about the NEWS. hopefully its good news. well good night yall'.

hott-ass.....yum-yum!!!

2003-05-04T01:51:12Z

so yeah....i met a hott-ass a few days ago. yum-yum. preety cool guy. man ana and linda made me feel stupid on friday!! i got a ride home from ana and as we were driving we saw hott-ass, ana had given him my number on fri. and she started screaming "CALL CRYSTAL TOMORROW!!!" i was ducked in the back feeling mighty retarded...i got up and he saw me! ::blushes:: boy do i feel silly. i feel retarded you guys!!! my heart beats super fast when i see him...only jesus has ever made me feel that way and well i swore i wouldnt ever feel that way for a guy again!!! well then cross your fingers all...well let me tell you about part of my week, on thursday i met hott-ass (yum-yum) he gave me a hug ::sigh:: he likes HRC<333 A PLUS! thats all that really happened on thursday, FRI. ana goes and asks him if hes got a gf (HE DOESNT!!!), then gives him my number on my SUPER-RAD *panda* note-paper Linda and Ana bought me....thats all that happened at school worth typing...friday around 4:45 the klan calls me up and says they cant make it! (to the grimace show) psssh...so it was only gonna be 3 of us, then 10 minutes later the whole world can come! palacios tells me to call rocio and ask her to come...she can but we need to pick her up...(thats palacios' hott-ass) so i pick up palacios, drop my bro off at my grandmas, go get rocio, go to marks house and get mark, linda, ana, ralph, and carlos!!! fuckin' fullhouse....(lol) 3 in the front, 4 in the middle, 2 in the back! ok then were off to see GRIMACE!!! we got off at the wrong exit and it takes up butt-fuck forever to get to the show, but we make it! we go in and sit down, i say hello to my family...and the show starts!!! man they rocked our socks off!!! mikes band is awesome. if you like ska/punk, youll like their band. placios was like "man crystal, how many people did you send to the hospital??" (LMAO!) o0o0o0o and im crossing my fingers for something super-awesome!! i gotta ask alex if they want to first! i hope so!! if so ill be posting SOON! ok then we got back from the show...we drop off jose, carlos and mark at marks house...we go back to anas house and the rest of us stay over at her house mark and jose call us and we talk for alittle while, we listen to some music, i drew on my shoe....OMG! ana found that SHIT-TALK-MONTHLY, those chicks at school made and i read the section about jesus...LOL!!! i sooo know who wrote that, its only obvious. but man that was mean. oh ana gave me a pic to give to mikey...i still have all that other stuff (lol) later that night i got picked up and took linda home, i was going to sleep and the klan called me, but then i hung up cause i was tired. TODAY: i woke up and went to a psychic, she couldnt tell me anything cause i was to young but she did tell me to keep staying away from a boy that hurts me! that its all no good, not even to be friends! (jesus) i started laughing!! well after i went home and i got a call from linda and she said to go over and i did and mark and palacios came over and then we went to yepez' house and they practiced and i tried to play guitar and i sucked at it, they want me to play bass when i cant even play guitar! we saw a fuck load of coons and mark and palacios popped out their nigger license, im gettin one soon ::drops-head:: ::blushes:: im so fuckin lame....well today Ashlee im-ed me and she said shes gonna get us tickets and backstage passes to the rx bandits show (?!?!?) but how you might ask?!? she been writing for skratch mag. and i guess they want her to do a review on the show and shes taking me...hex yeah dog!!! i wanna fuckin meet northstar (lol) well that about all for today, i got home, put my bro to bed and got online and ive been doing this. well night ya'll...ill be posting on monday to tell you the good news or the bad news....cross your fingers hopefully we can get um'!!!!! P.S- i already got the OK for it too!!!!!! ::winks:: hex yeah! well gtg nowe bye bye.

lovelynn

I think we grew up, past the hang-ups and the evil stares, the fuck you too's and I don't care's....

2003-04-26T05:50:43Z

i feel sad....i dont want to leave my friends. lupe and i ended up going out and about tonight, got some drinks and tried to get to roxanns house but we couldnt get there because we didnt know where the hell we were (LOL) and thats when the topic came up, i dont know i just cant be here anymore. but im gonna leave my friends and i cant do that!!! ahhhh....Lupe, Elizabeth, B, Linda, Ana, Yepez, and Alex!!! my buddys...theyre booty kickers. i mean maybe its just gonna be so werid leaving, living somewhere else. i dont know. im gonna forget about this place, except for my friends. i could never forget about um. i hope we move near ash-o-lay. i might not go to as many shows though...if i live far away. speaking of shows im gonna go see northstar twice! with B at chain recation and with lupe, ash and mike at the roxy!!! B is such a great person ::sniffle:: she rocks my socks. david had a kitty today soooo cute! snowflake...it remined me of jesus (copy kitty!) i know im lame. shut up leave me alone. he called me yesterday and said he still cared and he still loved me, not the best time to tell me that...im going off the deep end right about now. last night lupe told me i changed, that im not as gentle anymore, im not smiles anymore, im more rugged [(?)LOL], i dont look at the world the way i used to and then he said its cause i grew up and you know what? he couldnt be more right. things lately havent been so good, i fall asleep crying, wake up; i start crying, i cry during my classes, its sooo un-fair! i didnt do anything to deserve this i shouldnt be crying...damn you stupid boy! hes one of the reasons why i wanna forget about this place. anyone who knows me and whos reads this figured that out already. "starting over already, how much did i really mean to you?, and then to say those words...but its ok they dont mean anything to me anymore. just like you...just like you." -me

lovelynn

[ im falling together...alone in a wonderland ]

2003-04-24T01:14:02Z

i cant stop listening to northstar, theyve been helping me cope. lately ive been ok one day bad the next, i just wanna scream out to the world...but alas i must try to keep my sanity. i wake up depressed in the morning, why? because ive woken up, i know im pathetic. i want to meet new people, but san fernando/pacoima people arent my kind of people. i want to leave the valley. i need friends, i only have two. i told the health lady that, she laughed at me then tried to comfort me. she thinks im gonna hurt myself, i told her not to worry. i seriously need to get out of this town, we need to move sooner. we're gonna move, 6 months topps. by this fall/winter i should be happy. something to look forward to. i want to live far away, only being able to jump down on the weekends. i need to change bad habits. i need to stop wanting something i know ill never have, and by that i dont mean you jesus. i need some one to talk to. i need to learn to make myself happy. i need a car, i need a companion, i need a drink. i need to find myself, i needed you to be there for me. god help me. im lost, more so now than ever. sister mary knows what i mean. thats why she rocks. dont get me wrong im gonna miss my friends, they keep me together. but i just cant stand this place no more i hate it with all my might. i hope i never lose touch. well i gotta go hit balls....i dont know why but i get sooo sad on wed. i dont feel like apart of the team. anyways bye.

lovecrystal

It's not fair I know somewhere my life won't be like this .....

2003-04-21T04:48:08Z

So yeah easter was cool....slept in, Me and Ash's tradition lives on! we went to Applebees then to Juice Stop and then to Barnes And Noble, at the book store i got an la weekly and i saw Northstar is gonna be playing!!! at the Roxy with the rx bandits....i sooo gonna go! Ash, Mike, Me, hopefully Lupe and im gonna tell B about it! is it wasnt for her i wouldnt of even know about um!!! yay!!! well at the book store i read a numbers in a numerology book and im a 45/9 man it so goes with me! i did jesus' too 55/1 and it went with him....i put our numbers together to see if theyre compadibile, were not! no wonder.....anyway i had fun today!!! well bye everyone....-Crystal

::sniffle-sniffle-sigh:: Azure Ray.......

2003-04-21T04:16:18Z

So i'm waiting for this test to end
So the light of days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone
Now i'm scared, thats how i'd like to be
All these faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities?
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
And now my sorrow seems so far away
Until i'm taken by these bolts of pain
But I turn them off and tuck them away
Till these rainy days that make them stay
And then i'll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And I don't ever think they'll go away
Just like thinking of your childhood home
But we cant go back, we're on our own

But i'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I'll find it in myself

So we're speeding towards that time of year
To the day that marks that you're not here
And I think i'll want to be alone
So please understand that I dont answer the phone
I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
Till I can see nothing at all
Only particles some fast some slow
All my eyes can see is all I know

But i'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I'll find it in myself

Cool Breeze, Cool Nights, Cool Guy.....

2003-04-11T05:25:40Z

i wrtoe this tuesday night i hadnt had that feeling of wanting to type of anything until tonight, so herei go...This "whatever-ship" of ours no longer consists of "ILOVEYOUS", so please remind me to never say that again...anyway i'm watching dashboard unplugged i kept thinking about saturday (so i went and bought it) and how much fun i had meetin' Andy ::shrugs:: (please dont ask...) and how cool it was that he let us come to his house and how nice it was of him to let us use his bathroom ::blushes:: and to let me eat a fuzzy peach. and talking to him about music! ::sigh:: finally i meet a nice guy who likes the same music i do! now i know why Lupe never metioned his cousin beofre, for this sole reason. not even i saw it coming, he complimented my shirt (Further Seems Forever)and that was it, went outside and talked. i wrote him a letter on moday, and i wonder if lupe read it? yepes said we were flirting up the ass but i was buzzed so i dont think i was, just extra friendly. (LOL) Lupe thought i wanted his cousin right then and there (sex) LOL no, just wanted to talk to him is all, why does everyone think im a whore? WELL IM NOT!!! Hes in a band, two actually. show got postponed(?) oh he knows how'da play "hands down", favorite bands Dashboard, we were singing along to unplugged on sat, it was fun! on the way over there we played tag, and sctreamed at people while they drove past us. i cant belive theyre cousins...he a nice cousin stickin' up for Lupe like he did even though Lupe can handle his own, nice. WELL THATS WHAT HAPPENED ON SAT....my parents are divorcing, my grandpas outa the hospital and im teribbly alone and its killing me minute bye minute. all i do now is read, i cant stop it, but i love it, it takes me away. well i gotta go night yall'. -Lynn

awkwardsylence @ 2003-03-18T21:01:00

2003-03-19T05:35:06Z

so yeah im jesus' gf again after that hiatus well, sort of speak. when he asked me out i thought he was joking and i got mad...lol. well anyways. things are whatever. i hate 1st and 2nd. HR through 6th are cool espeacially 4th and 6th got jose and linda to laugh with. man 1st and 2d are gay. turner and cash suck balls. soooo S-L-O-W!!!!!!!!!! well lets see i so failed my math test today, and i thought i so knew everything. i did the steps right but the wrong answers came out. dammit! played volleyball today, and kicked major booty!! oh yeah!!! disscused bullshit in history and did work and laughed in bio. o0o0o! i kissed jesus, that made my day worth while. ok well igtg bye

awkwardsylence @ 2003-03-11T22:29:00

2003-03-12T06:32:59Z

There's nothing i could say to make you try and feel ok
And nothing you could do to stop me feeling the way i do
And if the chance should happen that i never see you again
Just remember that i'll always love you

I'd be a better person on the other side i'm sure
You'd find a way to help yourself
Then find another door
To shrug off minonr incidents
Make us both feel proud
I'd just wish i be there to see u through

You always were the one to make us stand out in the crowd
Though every once apon a while your head was in a cloud
There's nothing u could never do to ever let me down
And remember that ill always love you

it's starting to hit me ::sinffle-sniffle::

2003-03-12T04:22:51Z

And it breaks my heart, to know,
The only reason you are here now
Is a reminder of what I'll never have..
I'll never have..
I'll never...
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in.

I need you and it kills me
to know that i will never have you.
I love you with everything i am,
that means nothing to you.
So pull the trigger,
splatter my emotions
across the ceiling.
It fits you well
to show no feeling.

awkwardsylence @ 2003-03-10T23:41:00

2003-03-11T07:50:02Z

"Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start"

ahhhh....but im not. im starting to
give up on this whole thing. man this
sucks, i need to smoke, calm the
nerves. bye.

YaY For GRIMACE!!!

2003-03-09T11:11:38Z

Oh i almost forgot!!! EVERYONE!!! GRIMACE is playing at the cobalt!!! i forgot when they said but it is some time in MAY !!! i think the 2ND!!! im gonna get flyers from um and pass um around school. anyone who reads this, YOU MUST GO!!! theres got to be a defenit 30 people going. ill ask um' and get back to you on the date!! mike might be coming to my game tomorrow so i could ask him then. well night again everyone.

every me, every you.....hahahhahha

2003-03-09T11:03:56Z

so i just puked, im nervous and well i cant go back to bed so i might as well tell you my day. today i got up and went to s.i.b.i.l., it was opening day. they announced the team, yada, yada, yada. then i went to my grandmas house for a little while. then we went to my cousins game. but then we left to eat. then i went with my parents to lettys house then to our house then to simi to costco then to my cousins house no one was home do then we found a phone book and then we found a wherehouse and we bought cds, my mom bought a gay cd and i bought the ataris cd...ehhh. then we went to their house again. and we were there for a long time!!! after we left we went to chi chi's and then to michells then to our house where i took care of my cousins and bro. i cleaned up but my bro to bed, put my cousins to bed. and then fell asleep. on a lighter note; we got a game tomorrow!!! (well its today in the morning) at 11:30 awesome!!! im number 13!!! how lame!!! in the begining of the year my dad told me when you get on the team find out whos 4th in the line up, that persons does the cleanup, thats like the best hitter on the team. ladies and gentalmen, guess whos 4th in the line up??? ME!!! o0o0o the pressure!!! oh and im gonna be on second but im gonna play the first inning at right feild cause im nervous!!! ahhhh!!!!!! wish me luck eveyone!!! night. -Lynn

hahehahehahe!!!

2003-03-07T05:51:26Z

"Mike's X-girlfriend is a lesbian"

Mike's x-girlfriend is a lesbian
she's a fuckin dike

when mike met kathy on that fatefull night
well you know it was love at first sight
but this kathy chick, she's a curious girl
then along came amy and shattered their world

this can't be right
there was no fight
just a change of heart

after a long drawn out internet conversation
mike was left with only masterbation
while kathy enjoys her new alternative lifestyle
she found doin girls to be so wild

now, mike just stays in
while kathy eats out
you know what i mean

now mike gets ridiculed
by all of his friends
but he still insits its cuz
after him there is no other good man

LOL!!!! I sooooo have to hear um' play this song!!!
Yay! for GRIMACE!!! And screw you Kathy if i ever
see you your ass is going down!!! -Lynn

what a day....

2003-03-06T06:58:07Z

lets start from the begining, 12-1-ish jesus blocks my number, like fuckin always!!!fuck man!!! anyways i go to sleep, wake up early and go to drop my mom off, my nanny bought me a donut and then she took me to go sign up for school, she leaves, i finish up, my dad comes and gets me and we go buy my other grandma food, fish cause its ash wed. but i eat chicken cause thats bullshit!!! then we go back to school cause i needed to talk to my new counsoler that wasnt there, i did so we left, then we go to woodland hills to go do something and me and my bro wait in the car then we go home and then i put my bro to take a nap and we fell asleep and then when i woke up it was 4 and then i watched a movie then we went and got my mom and then we went to my grandmas house and then my mom dragged up to go get ash but we were running late to baseball practice, we got my bro food on the way there and then we went to the batting cages and we hit balls and i taled to a new girl on our team. and sats our opening game and well then we went home then jesus called and sang me a song and then he gotmad and hung up and re-blocked my number and then i watched george lopez and then i went and sat with my bro ans watched shreck for the millionth time and then i went and took a shower an now here i am. i got school tomorrow!!! finally....well good night everyone.

i dont even drink........YUCKY!

2003-03-06T06:45:00Z

The name says it all.

You’re pure as the driven snow, chaste, not yet deflowered.

However you want to put it.

This doesn’t mean you’re necessarily a virgin.

Oh, no, Missy. It means that you THINK you are.

Or, more specifically, that you think of yourself as one.

You don’t do anything too nasty or dirty.

Missionary position works for you, every time.

Hey, nothing wrong with that.

That’s the only position most guys know, anyway. [NOT MY BF(lol)]

What Cocktail Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

intoxicate by a quarter to ten.........

2003-03-03T06:08:48Z

so yeah i got an email from jesus. "Yeah....so i just read your live journal...yeah. yeah. yeah. okay bye" i dont know where hes getting at but whatever. i replyed with, "and........???" lol i didnt know what else to say. why does he care what i put in my live journal. our relationship is no more, hes not allowed to care. well anyways....today i got a pedicur and my eye brows waxed and at brunch with my grandma thenwent to a store then johny called and said he needed food so we went and bought them some then we went and bought us food then i came home o0o and we bought strawberrys mmmmm. then i watched a movie and i asked my grandma if she wanted to watch it with us and che said no, and i said jokingly, "you dont like movies with black people huh?" and she said "yeah" and i said "grandma was any of your family in the kkk?" and she said, "oh yeah all of them" omfg!!?? and she wasnt kidding either. i said "well then what the fuck did they say when you married my mexican ass grandpa?" and she said "oh geez they had PLENTY to say" gues thats why my grandma aint close to her family. thats scary. well anyways. i watched the movie and then i ate strawberrys!! then we went to the mall and she gave a 100bucks and said to buy stuff i needed......like my ratfe!!! (yay) all i have to say is that went by fast, i bought cute underware though and a backpack and other stuff. i still need clothes though. i got an ear ache!!! i need to go to the doctors tomorrow...then work, oh and we got our list of games were gonna play for softball!!! sooon!!! softball here i come!!! well i gotta go now ye yall'.

i wish everything about the danger wouldn't make you such a stranger...

2003-03-02T22:03:47Z

hello. i guess i am because well because i dont feel all that bad about things, i feel some what releaved at what has happened. i mean to tell you the truth i coudnt possibly do that for he rest of my life. im hurt but not like "omg kill me". all i know is im never gonna go through that again. it was werid cause everything was ok when i left, then he just doesnt call; crash and burn. when we talked he didnt seem all too caring about it. well thats the way it goes. i gotta go find me a new honeybun yall', i gotta be less depenent of a guy and more independent, thats where i fucked up. well ive learned from my mistakes. well thats about it, wish me luck cause my ass is gonna need it. all i know is i feel sorry for the one after me, god speed who ever you are, lol.

consume me....

2003-02-28T08:53:41Z

oh my garsh you guys. i went and saw hrc....alone. the first band (everybody else)...ehhh, (the reunion) whatever, (death on wed.) sound like alk3...so they coo, and of course hrc...awesome. i cant say that about the crowed, man they sucked everyone just stood there. and towards the end of the show i pushed my way to the front and i saw "B" and i was like, "hey!!!" and she was "hey whats up?!?" and then i just hopped on stage and started singing with Andy!!! and he put his arm around me and we sang!! then B came up and then the 3 of us sang then lots of people came up!!! then Andy gave me the mic and he kissed me...on the cheek ::in-shock:: then we all finished the song and we all got a hug from him. and B was sooo fuckin' happy, shes like man you rock. lol. and guess what?!?! cause i did that shes giving me a free rental next time i go to blockbuster!!! oh yeah!!! B works at blockbuster for those of you who dont know. shes a relly cool girl. she even waited with me for like 10 minutes until my dad picked me up. she had told me tbs was playing in march and i went and got my ticket that day she told me, and today i found out that my dad cant take me cause hes starting school and B asked if i needed a ride to the tbs show and i was like YEAH THANKS!!!! so im gonna end up going after all!!! i got Andys pick and Mike gave me a hug!!! jesus is mad cause andy kissed me, but it was ok when that ::shakes-fist:: stupid girl from tsunami bomb kissed him. grrrrr. ( think thats how you spell tsunami) well today was okie dokie. i have a friend now!!! me and B were on speaking terms but now shes an honorary friend!! i just hope jesus doesnt stay mad. well good night everyone.

cross out the eyes...

2003-02-21T07:11:20Z

Ladies and Gentleman I've Hit an All Time Low.

.................

2003-02-16T04:39:38Z

god i dont even know anymore and im getting sick of it. dont ask, just amsume and im sure youll know some of whats going on. i mean its me were talk about, im predicable. what arent i angry about. i mean whats wrong with me why after 3yrs cant i get it right why cant i trust him, perhaps he isnt trust worthy? well i dont know, i do but then i dont know. well i know its not all me it takes two. well there now, ill be leaving.

why today......?!?!

2003-02-15T01:49:37Z

My Mom said I could see Jesus today if it didn't rain, which it didn't and when I woke up my dad said NO, we need you here....to do what???NOTHING!!! excuses. So I had no way of telling Jesus I wouldn't be going to see him, and to tell you the truth we really need time alone, no not to do those things, to talk. Things haven't been going so smoothly for us and well I really needed V-Day. And it was ruined. He called me as soon as he got home. As soon as he called I started counting how long it'd be before he said, "i'll call you back." yup, he called but it seemed he called me on accident, instead of Carlos. He'd rather talk to his friend on V-Day then his g/f. Nice, real nice. Again, he said, "i'll call you back." Then used the baby voice so I wouldn't get mad, but it doesn't ever work so as always I hang up. And no he hasn't called me back, I wouldn't expect him to, I am only his g/f you know, yeah like that means anything. He'll be calling around 11-ish just so we can talk for an hour tops. And he wonders why I get angry. Yesterday around 2-ish I hear foot-steps on the side of my house, scared out of my ass I call Jesus what does he do he gets angry of all things and says nothings gonna happen and he hangs up. I stayed up until 4 in the morning scared as hell. Today sucks and will end up sucking and I will bet anyone out there that Jesus Martinez will dump me at least once by the end of the night. I ditched Ash, Aimee, a show and being able to get out of the house to see Jesus and talk to him all of V-Day, and what do I get NOTHING!!! Screw V-Day and everyone else!!!